Beauty Marks
Beauty Marks
Motivational Nomenclature
I can't help being inspired by the brand name on my back brace:
What a great brand - it brings a smile to my face and puts zing in my step, both of which help speed the healing process. And anything to amuse the teen demographic in my household!
Destination: Kent
I could try to be all hoity-toity and call it Seattle, but this item is pure Kent. We just came back from a few jam-packed and fun-filled days visiting friends and family in Seattle. It's fun to dine down memory lane there, and a key stopping point was dim sum in Kent at the renowned Imperial Garden Seafood Restaurant. While the dim sum was top-notch, the decor never fails to provide some kind of amusement.
This time we experienced their new widescreen monitor advertising items we could be eating if we weren't eating what was already on our plates:
We spent much of the meal wondering what "Associated appetizer" could mean. Then, a trip to the ladies' room offered another mystery:
This time we experienced their new widescreen monitor advertising items we could be eating if we weren't eating what was already on our plates:
We spent much of the meal wondering what "Associated appetizer" could mean. Then, a trip to the ladies' room offered another mystery:
While My Shaldan has a Facebook page, they've yet to let the public in on the creative process that brought us the magic of their name. So if anyone has any clues, I'm all ears!
Apologies for the blogging inundation; I figured you needed something to chew on in advance of what will likely be a bit of a hiatus while I get this bad back fixed. I hope to come back fixed, full of hospital-related brand trivia, and a half inch taller.
Destination: Our Nation's Capital
According to Wordnik, a nebbish is a Yiddish term for a "timid unfortunate simpleton." In my sojourns among the nebbishy, I've also heard the term abbreviated to "neb" or "nebby," as in "He's such a neb."
That's why I was kind of stunned to see this sign at 2nd and Massachusetts on Capitol Hill in DC recently:
Maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: The place styles itself a "caffe 4 friends" and anyone who would find that cute or appealing must be a nebbish?
Once again, I find myself repeating the immortal words of Inigo Montoya : I do not think it means what you think it means.
NSFW!!!!
NSFW means "not safe for work," for those not in the know. So that means you may not want to click on this link to Lelo, a site that offers "the world's best pleasure objects."
So how did I get there, you may ask? Well, Lelo was advertised on Carnal Nation, from which an article on the dirty minds of thirteen year-old boys was featured on Jezebel. I am all for awareness of what's going on in the minds of my daughters' friends, so I read the article and checked out its source.
So why am I interested in Lelo? Do you remember how I drone on and on about how companies should determine if possible whether their proposed trademark has an undesired meaning in a foreign language? Yep, "lelo," in Spanish, means "stupid" or "idiot." I have to wonder how the name goes over in the Spanish-speaking countries where Lelo does business.
On the other hand, I'd love it if their stock retort were "Don't call me stupid."
Destination: Maui
A brief but enjoyable visit to Maui before the kids get back from camp provided not only relaxation but also some excellent blog fodder.
Did you know that wine is made in every state in the US? Well, it is, and we certainly weren't about to miss Maui's Tedeschi Vineyards, despite a drive that had me closing my eyes and popping ginger candies along the way. We learned about Hawaiian agricultural history from our engaging guide Nani, and tasted some surprisingly delightful wines, particularly the sparkling pineapple wine:
Marc is pictured here holding a bottle of it. The sparkler bears the charming moniker "Hula O'Maui." We couldn't resist bringing a bottle home in the suitcase.
What else? Well, one of my betes noires as a trademark attorney is the continuing ability of the National Association of Realtors to be able to convince relevant adjudicative bodies that the term "realtor" is indeed a trademark despite clear evidence that the non-real-estate-professional public uses the term generically. Apparently the fact of the term's coinage back in 1916 wasn't even enough to convince the TTAB in the linked opinion. Well, I was able to locate some more evidence of that genericness - in a ladies' room stall at Mama's Fish House outside of Paia:
The photo was from a 1938 Honolulu newspaper. And I merely affected an air of supreme confidence when the other woman in the bathroom looked at me quizzically when I exited the stall. Not everyone is a trademark geek like I am, alas.
I loved the name of this store - Endangered Pieces - but even a brief glance while stopped at a traffic light assured me that there was a reason these pieces were endangered!
On our last day, we strolled Front Street in Lahaina desperately looking for somewhere decent for lunch. We couldn't locate our first choice, so we gave in to thirst, heat and exhaustion and plopped ourselves down at the Hard Rock Cafe. In our defense, they were advertising ono tacos as their catch of the day special, and they were just delicious, as was the Maui Brewing Co. Bikini Blonde Lager. The hostess was kind enough to drop off this flyer advertising the logowear we could purchase there:
The oxymoronic nature of the phrase "Hard Rock Couture" was nowhere more evident than on that same hostess, who was lavishly face-painted, tattooed and pierced. But she did carry her pen in her more than ample cleavage, which I did find quite resourceful. I'll store that tidbit away for that day when I have my hands literally full and stowing a pen behind my ear just won't work!
Finally, a tribute to my early legal career in Seattle:
And so castles made of sand fall in the sea, eventually. And so do vacations come to an end and kids come back from camp. But it was a lovely stay and we'll dream of returning. I leave you with the trip's beautiful earworm: Over the Rainbow, by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole - which we now own on CD, thanks to Marc's winning answer in the "Guess the Midpoint of the Flight" contest on our LAX-OGG flight.
Aloha!
Happy Blogiversary to Me!
I'm sorry, I have had it with bacon and I've had it with misspellings as trademarks. Today my friend Leslie offers both in one shot (so to speak): Bakon Vodka. Let me say it again: MISSPELLING A GENERIC TERM DOES NOT MAGICALLY CONVERT IT INTO A TRADEMARK. Sorry for screaming, but apparently not everyone heard me say this before. As for the vodka, while I appreciate bacon-y goodness as much as the next person, I think we have reached bacon overload in this country. Ca se voit, as they say.
So what else can I offer you on this, the three-year anniversary of the day I went public with the thoughts that until then had merely been buzzing around in my brain and inflicted sporadically on my husband?
A few things, again from InStyle Magazine which I now have to score on the sly at my nail salon:
Well, there's Uniqlo, a Japanese clothing brand. I know where they're coming from - "unique clothing" - but once again, the foreign language dilettante in me hears "Klo" and thinks "oh, that's 'toilet' or 'loo' in German." On the other hand, they do use "every day" correctly on their website http://www.uniqlo.com/dress/us/, which I commend.
Spornette, a hair brush brand? In theory I don't mind it, but in practice, I am not wild about how the logo appears on the website:
That's right, the mark reads "pornette" with a jazzy "S" swoosh alongside it. Oops? I understand that the mark is a play on the company's founder's surname, Sporn, but I think any name that contains the "porn" formative needs to be careful. Google "pornette" and see what I mean. Or don't, preferably. At the same time, I love their slogan: "A brush with success."
Finally, Moroccanoil. It's argan oil, presumably from Morocco. Thus the mark is descriptive if not generic. They got registration under section 2(f) of the Trademark Act, but still, this bugs me. Looks like they're involved in litigation over the name, evidence once again that when you select a descriptive term as a trademark, you often wind up in disputes with your competitors.
I can't believe I've been blogging for three years. Time does fly when you're really having fun, and I can honestly say I love doing this. Thanks to my loyal readership (hi Dad and Marc!) and to the friends and family who plant the seeds for many of my observations. Keep 'em coming.
Doggy. Style.
I'm a big fan of good (and not-so-good) magazine titles. Having a dog has broadened my horizons in many ways, not the least of which has been exposure to a new world of naming.
This magazine - its name and its tagline - just thrill me:
My favorite fictional dog magazine title, hands down, is, of course American Bitch, from the brilliant and warped mind of Christopher Guest, in the movie Best in Show. Yes, if Reggie had been all white, we'd have had no choice but to name her Rhapsody, even with only one mommy.
Photo from imdb.com.
Looks like dinner time around here
Here we go once again with miscellany from all around.
Okay, not only is the concept of push-up sushi in a tube disgusting, the name its creators came up with – Sushi Poppers – isn’t going to go very far from a trademark perspective. I’m just saying. Take a look for yourself:
Next on my agenda of randomness, Colorado pride:
Not only is it a great name , it’s great beer, with a delightfully incomprehensible slogan ("It's Like Sputnik," if you can't see it), plus the benefit of using endlessly recyclable aluminum cans. Just watch out for its 8% ABV! Not that I learned the hard way or anything.
Finally, as for names that make me ponder the descriptiveness/deceptive misdescriptiveness/huh? continuum, I give you this:
The mark is registered,and didn’t receive an office action challenging it on descriptiveness grounds. I agree – can you imagine grilling beans that small? Right through the grate they’d go. No, I could easily make the argument against descriptiveness – that these are beans you serve to go along with grilled items; thus the mark is not immediately descriptive of the goods. Good call, PTO, on permitting registration.
Two out of these three sound like the makings of a great weekend. Enjoy!
Thanks to MSNBC for the photo of the icky sushi poppers!
Edited to add this Oskar Blues brew name - which I had quite a bit of difficulty explaining to the kids:
It's delicious, and I am a sucker for a company with such egregious puns in its website copy. And yes, I see that it's dented and will be careful when I open it!
Thinking of something positive to say . . .
On the bright side, they came up with an excellent descriptor:
"Visual privacy undergarment" - you just can't beat that as a product descriptor. Apart from that, I'm kind of speechless. Though in the era of Spanx for men and modesty petals, I guess I shouldn't underestimate the ability of marketers to convince us that our bodies are as distorted and horrifying as images in a midway funhouse mirror, hence the burgeoning visual privacy undergarment product sector.
"Visual privacy undergarment" - you just can't beat that as a product descriptor. Apart from that, I'm kind of speechless. Though in the era of Spanx for men and modesty petals, I guess I shouldn't underestimate the ability of marketers to convince us that our bodies are as distorted and horrifying as images in a midway funhouse mirror, hence the burgeoning visual privacy undergarment product sector.
Please release me, let me go!
When it comes to women and cleaning products, Sarah Haskins hits the nail on the head illuminating the ways in which marketers attempt to "create a romance" between women and these products in order to promote them. I give you this fantastic video presented on Jezebel as Exhibit A.
So when my dear friend Leslie blogged today about the virtues of Reynolds Wrap Release Non-Stick Foil, I couldn't help thinking that this was yet another product named and marketed to women, hinting at a release they might not encounter elsewhere, if you get my drift. And I'm sure you do.
So when my dear friend Leslie blogged today about the virtues of Reynolds Wrap Release Non-Stick Foil, I couldn't help thinking that this was yet another product named and marketed to women, hinting at a release they might not encounter elsewhere, if you get my drift. And I'm sure you do.
I mean, come on: the italics, the arrows? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what kind of release those rockets are suggesting.
Or is it just me? Still twelve? Sorry . . .
Or is it just me? Still twelve? Sorry . . .
Because I am twelve
My favorite piece of swag from the INTA annual meeting:
Had a great time in Boston and only regret that I couldn't join the gang at Meet the Bloggers. When you're one half of a two trademark lawyer couple, there are necessary tradeoffs. Next year in San Francisco!
One toke over the line . . .
Much as I enjoy criticizing frivolous trademark claims, I have to admit that this one pretty much hits the dilution by tarnishment nail squarely on the head. Thanks to TMZ for the tip. See? There is value in reading gossip sites!
RIP My InStyle Subscription
See? I knew the minute I mentioned my InStyle subscription mentioned my InStyle subscription it'd mysteriously terminate. So now I just have to score the stuff on the street, or at least at Snappy Nails, my salon of choice.
So what did I find this time? Mentions of a moisturizer line called CeraVe. Now there's a name whose pronunciation stumps me. Cera, as in Michael, plus "vee"? Suh-RAVE? Their website doesn't provide much insight on the topic, but it does offer contact info for their PR agency, as well as convenient jpg photo files. Why thank you, don't mind if I do:
I don't know, I find their use of SK*INformation to be somewhat twee, a word I just don't get to use enough. So I think I'll stick with Michael Cera, thank you.
Next, I saw an ad for Bodycology skin care products. Well, once again, it's a mark that doesn't move me. Why? Because it reminds me of "mycology," the study of mushrooms. And I really don't want anything that suggests mushrooms near my body, sorry.
Apart from InStyle, there's always People. In one Sandra Bullock-riddled issue I did spot an ad for a product whose name I think bears reconsideration: the Always Infinity sanitary napkin. Apart from the fact that I think the term "sanitary napkin" has fallen out of usage, I can tell you that the word "infinity" is one I really don't want to hear in connection with menstruation.
But without InStyle in my mailbox, I'll just have to rely on my faithful online sources of information. Jezebel, thankfully, never fails me. Today they report on a doggie nightclub (yes, I recognize the absurdity) called Fetch. Ridiculous concept, but the fact that they actually made fetch happen is pretty awesome. Jezebel also has an outstanding expose on lewd and lurid vodka advertising. These ads have to be seen to be believed.
Finally, Nancy Friedman is a never-ending online source of trademark and branding novelties. Her comprehensive and hilarious account of eye-popping Japantown brand names just makes me hungry for some good ol' Vermont Curry.
Alt-0174: Nice to see you again
My vet's parent organization sends us a quarterly magazine on pet health. This installment has a feature on Cloris Leachman - and mentions her clothing line, A Cloris Line . The website for the line is currently down; but I wish Cloris all the best and think the name amply rates the Alt-0174 honor!
(As I prefer to think of her . . .)
Works, but doesn't work
Pretty much anyone who's hung out with me over the past nine years knows that I have a bad back. No, a really bad back - a bulging/degenerated disc at L5/S1 that's only gotten worse in nine years, with bonus facet joint arthritis. Yippee! Suffice to say I've tried every pain remedy and healing modality and must reiterate that it's really hard to get into a good strengthening routine when you're in so much pain you can't put your socks on.
Sorry for the rant. So among the pain relief I've tried is a nifty little Japanese analgesic patch called SALONPAS:
It actually does minimize the pain somewhat, which in my world these days is a roaring acclamation. The smell is a bit distracting, kind of like bandages, aspirin and Ben-Gay all rolled into one. However, what troubles me about the product is the name: I just cannot get over the "np" consonant cluster - I don't know of another English word that contains it (though I solicit any examples you can offer). The pronunciation suggested on the Salonpas website's videos doesn't convince me: "sa-lone-poss." It's just not a natural pronunciation when it includes the word "salon." So I am doomed not just to back pain but also to my inability to get over the spelling of one of my remedies.
Of course, I do live in Colorado, where our choice of remedies includes options not necessarily available elsewhere, if not for my own use (hi again, Dad!), definitely for a future post about medical marijuana outlet naming conventions.
Destination: Santa Fe
When naming inspiration fails completely:
Notwithstanding, we enjoyed good food, drink, friends, the farmers' market, breathtaking scenery, AND . . . Trader Joe's. We'll be back.
Destination: Mt. Kisco
The coincidence of spring break and Passover brought us home to Mt. Kisco, NY for a few days.
(Mt. Kisco town hall on a much sunnier day than when we were there; photo thanks to Google Maps).
While we were there the girls went to their grandma's hair salon for trims; next door is a doggie day care called "Reining Cats and Dogs." And that was quite an apt name, as the rain was relentless.
A grand time was nonetheless had by all; best wishes for a happy Pesach. We will finish the break in New Mexico, thus having covered three "New" states (York, Jersey and Mexico) in one vacation, an accomplishment only a geek could love.
(Mt. Kisco town hall on a much sunnier day than when we were there; photo thanks to Google Maps).
While we were there the girls went to their grandma's hair salon for trims; next door is a doggie day care called "Reining Cats and Dogs." And that was quite an apt name, as the rain was relentless.
A grand time was nonetheless had by all; best wishes for a happy Pesach. We will finish the break in New Mexico, thus having covered three "New" states (York, Jersey and Mexico) in one vacation, an accomplishment only a geek could love.
InStyle Blogging
It's that time of the month again . . . No, not that; the InStyle magazine just arrived, and as I do every month, I wonder how on earth I keep receiving the subscription, never having ordered, paid for nor renewed it. This month I decided to make lemonade by turning my monthly analysis into a blog feature. No doubt my subscription will miraculously vanish now, but until and unless it does, here goes:
1. Impressed with the pillows at Thro Home. Kind of surprised the PTO permitted registration of that and THRO alone for pillows, but I'll go with it. Especially with pillows like this one:
2. Here comes Givenchy with yet another "flanker" perfume. This one flanks its Ange ou Demon brand, and is called Ange ou Demon Le Secret. Uma Thurman as spokesmodel or not, any perfume that can be described as "fruitchouli rose bubblegum" is destined never to grace my shelf. As for the name, it's cumbersome even in French - and since Americans have trouble pronouncing even "Givenchy" correctly, I think uttering the whole mouthful would be a daunting prospect.
3. Yuck. Let me get that first one out of my system, though I warn you, there may be more. New product from Dr. Perricone: Cold Plasma, an anti-aging wrinkle cream. Yuck. Now, I suspect there are problems on the false advertising front, particularly if the formula doesn't contain actual cold plasma. But I'm going to focus on the registration, because there's a minefield out there. The PTO, once again snoozing and clueless, let this application go straight through without objection, which just blows my mind. I'm sorry, if it contains "cold plasma" it's descriptive and thus unregistrable, and if it doesn't, it's deceptively misdescriptive and thus unregistrable. Am I the only one to whom the mark suggests that the product contains cold plasma? Yuck. Yet there is no information on the Perricone site to indicate that the product has any connection to plasma whatsoever. Finally, and I'm just saying, the statement of use for the COLD PLASMA was filed before the CAFC BOSE decision - wouldn't you have been careful about filing a statement of use saying the mark was in use on all of the goods in the application when in fact I just don't see the website showing any lip products or cleansers bearing the mark? But that's just me and my over-caution. And? Yuck.
4. Macy's INC brand advertises its spring chic line with the tagline "Edge & Flow." Like this?
5. Not Soap, Radio bath and beauty products. Cute product line, not a bad name, but why the comma? The exhaustive Wikipedia etymology of the phrase "No soap, radio" provides ample history and analysis of the phrase and the jokes in which it was used (I just thought it was another of the myriad ways my mother has for saying no). Based on that history, I conclude that the comma is optional. So why not leave it out of the brand name? Are there many brands that include a comma? And for that matter, why not just "No soap radio"?
As for the rest, it's mostly extravagantly impractical footwear. Really. See you next month.
1. Impressed with the pillows at Thro Home. Kind of surprised the PTO permitted registration of that and THRO alone for pillows, but I'll go with it. Especially with pillows like this one:
2. Here comes Givenchy with yet another "flanker" perfume. This one flanks its Ange ou Demon brand, and is called Ange ou Demon Le Secret. Uma Thurman as spokesmodel or not, any perfume that can be described as "fruitchouli rose bubblegum" is destined never to grace my shelf. As for the name, it's cumbersome even in French - and since Americans have trouble pronouncing even "Givenchy" correctly, I think uttering the whole mouthful would be a daunting prospect.
3. Yuck. Let me get that first one out of my system, though I warn you, there may be more. New product from Dr. Perricone: Cold Plasma, an anti-aging wrinkle cream. Yuck. Now, I suspect there are problems on the false advertising front, particularly if the formula doesn't contain actual cold plasma. But I'm going to focus on the registration, because there's a minefield out there. The PTO, once again snoozing and clueless, let this application go straight through without objection, which just blows my mind. I'm sorry, if it contains "cold plasma" it's descriptive and thus unregistrable, and if it doesn't, it's deceptively misdescriptive and thus unregistrable. Am I the only one to whom the mark suggests that the product contains cold plasma? Yuck. Yet there is no information on the Perricone site to indicate that the product has any connection to plasma whatsoever. Finally, and I'm just saying, the statement of use for the COLD PLASMA was filed before the CAFC BOSE decision - wouldn't you have been careful about filing a statement of use saying the mark was in use on all of the goods in the application when in fact I just don't see the website showing any lip products or cleansers bearing the mark? But that's just me and my over-caution. And? Yuck.
4. Macy's INC brand advertises its spring chic line with the tagline "Edge & Flow." Like this?
5. Not Soap, Radio bath and beauty products. Cute product line, not a bad name, but why the comma? The exhaustive Wikipedia etymology of the phrase "No soap, radio" provides ample history and analysis of the phrase and the jokes in which it was used (I just thought it was another of the myriad ways my mother has for saying no). Based on that history, I conclude that the comma is optional. So why not leave it out of the brand name? Are there many brands that include a comma? And for that matter, why not just "No soap radio"?
As for the rest, it's mostly extravagantly impractical footwear. Really. See you next month.
Country of Origin Marking FAIL
Pretty sure this has nothing to do with our proximity to Wyoming.
Destination: Todos Santos, Mexico
We had the great fortune to join our friend Bert and some 30 of his nearest and dearest to celebrate his 50th birthday at the remote, secluded but spectacular Rancho Pescadero on the Baja Peninsula near Los Cabos. Good food, luxurious lodging, and margaritas galore to keep the conversations lively.
But a jaunt over to the small village of Todos Santos a few miles away provided just a tiny bit of trademark amusement, to wit:
Not sure what its official status refers to, but hey, it's Mexico. Have a margarita and go with it.
Have it at the Hotel California, in fact, with Hotel California tequila:
And oh yes, they played the song. My theory, never refuted, is that no matter where you go on this planet, you will hear that song.
And wholly off topic but just for fun anyway, is this to commemorate Milli Vanilli?
Hasta luego, Todos Santos.
But a jaunt over to the small village of Todos Santos a few miles away provided just a tiny bit of trademark amusement, to wit:
Not sure what its official status refers to, but hey, it's Mexico. Have a margarita and go with it.
Have it at the Hotel California, in fact, with Hotel California tequila:
And wholly off topic but just for fun anyway, is this to commemorate Milli Vanilli?
Hasta luego, Todos Santos.
